By D. Caluori
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Extra resources for Thinking about Friendship: Historical and Contemporary Philosophical Perspectives
Leslie can proffer an explanation or simply note that the time is not yet right to talk about the matter. Needless to say, Adrian will respect that decision and then add something like the following remark: ‘You know that I will be there for you when you need me’. It should be manifestly clear that one does not have to devalue romantic love at all in order to appreciate how absolutely wonderful and marvelous it is for mutual self-disclosing trust to be the fundamental bond between two individuals.
Last, but certainly not least, there is way too much information that the parent knows about their child that precludes forging a relationship of genuine equality between the parents and child with respect to self-disclosure. Two individuals who have been companion friends can indeed say to one another ‘I know you’. Alas, that truth is owing to mutual self-disclosure from the very start of their friendship, something that is not possible between parents and their child. Finally, in this regard, there is the idea of the sanctity of parenthood.
Once we realize this, we do not need to search very far: the feature that distinguishes the virtuous friend from other goods per se is, as we saw, the appreciation of his loving response, which, in this kind of friendship, is a deliberate choice, antiprohairesis. Similarly, the feature that distinguishes the friend in the secondary kinds of friendship from other useful or pleasant things is his loving response (antiphilein). Thus, it is quite reasonable to interpret the focal relation proposed in the Eudemian essay as the focal reference of the ways in which the loving response of the friend matters in the secondary kinds of friendship to the specific good that the friend constitutes in primary friendship.
Thinking about Friendship: Historical and Contemporary Philosophical Perspectives by D. Caluori